The day you have been waiting for has finally dawned. I have watched you desperate to come of age. In many respects 18 is the magic age. First you get to vote! And you must vote. The world is run by those who participate. I have told you that before. I know you have heard too many people say oh it’s a waste of time. Politicians are corrupt. They never do anything for us. Your silence makes it worse. Vote, show them that you matter. Even if they rig, they will be rigging based on knowledge that you don’t want them!
You are now allowed to have pleasurable safe sex. Yes you are. Sex is a wonderful thing, to be enjoyed, with someone you genuinely like and love. Sex is not equals to pain, disease, and death – as you may have seen all around you as you grew up. It doesn’t have to be like that. Take your time though. Sex will always be there, when you are 69 or 103. As I told you when you turned 16, know yourself, your sexual preference and your sexuality. There isn’t one pre-destined-cast in stone-this is how a man should be thing. No. We live in a world of choices. That is why I have exposed you to the world, from Vietnam to Cambodia, Johannesburg to New York. It’s all yours honey. Be a global citizen.
Narrow mindedness and fundamentalism has no place in a rights respecting family or society. Be open to learning. Be open to other cultures. Appreciate diversity. Value every human being. We all have a story to tell. Or as that lovely song by Ray Phiri says, “we are all tributaries of that great river of pain, flowing into one ocean”. I prefer to see it as a great river of joy and love. Hatred of “the other”, intolerance of those whose lives you don’t understand, or stereotyping them, should be anathema to you. You would know this better my son. They said children of single mums were badly behaved brats with no manners or direction. Look how you have turned out, even if I say so myself!
You are at the point of choosing a university course of study. It is hard. Choose something that you will love doing, and as someone once said to me, something so portable that you can make a living anywhere in the world from it. Choose something that will not only earn you money but that will enable you to make a difference to other human beings’ lives. You will enjoy your university years. So much freedom, so much to learn, so much fun stuff to do, so many mates! These will be the best years of your life. Enjoy them.
A year ago you chose to be confirmed as an Anglican. Good for you. Grow spiritually, in whatever direction you choose. Always remember that a church or a mosque, or a temple doesn’t make you a better person. It simply helps you along. It is not about mouthing it each day or proclaiming your religiousness on your face-book page. No. It is the love, care and compassion and respect for the rights of ALL your fellow human beings that matters. You can live your entire life without ever darkening a religious establishment’s door, but it is what you do, say and how you live your life with others that truly matters. Your faith is yours. Don’t foist it on anyone else. Respect others’ choices.
I am so proud of how you have matured in the last two years. You now watch and read current affairs. You have to know your Achebe from your Dangarembga. You care about South Sudan. You don’t know how proud I was of the week you spent during your last holidays building a school in Alexandra township. I have seen you indignant when you witness injustice and pain inflicted on others.
You have turned 18 in the year that your dear granny left us, three months ago. I don’t know what she would say to you if she was here. What I do know is that she will always love and protect you wherever she is. She will be happy if you continue to grow up as a gentle, caring, loving and GIVING man. Giving to others doesn’t mean you have excess, or you want it publicized through megaphones. Just love and give. That is the rent you pay for being on this beautiful planet.
I love you my youngest ‘baby’. You keep me sane each day.
You are now allowed to have pleasurable safe sex. Yes you are. Sex is a wonderful thing, to be enjoyed, with someone you genuinely like and love. Sex is not equals to pain, disease, and death – as you may have seen all around you as you grew up. It doesn’t have to be like that. Take your time though. Sex will always be there, when you are 69 or 103. As I told you when you turned 16, know yourself, your sexual preference and your sexuality. There isn’t one pre-destined-cast in stone-this is how a man should be thing. No. We live in a world of choices. That is why I have exposed you to the world, from Vietnam to Cambodia, Johannesburg to New York. It’s all yours honey. Be a global citizen.
Narrow mindedness and fundamentalism has no place in a rights respecting family or society. Be open to learning. Be open to other cultures. Appreciate diversity. Value every human being. We all have a story to tell. Or as that lovely song by Ray Phiri says, “we are all tributaries of that great river of pain, flowing into one ocean”. I prefer to see it as a great river of joy and love. Hatred of “the other”, intolerance of those whose lives you don’t understand, or stereotyping them, should be anathema to you. You would know this better my son. They said children of single mums were badly behaved brats with no manners or direction. Look how you have turned out, even if I say so myself!
You are at the point of choosing a university course of study. It is hard. Choose something that you will love doing, and as someone once said to me, something so portable that you can make a living anywhere in the world from it. Choose something that will not only earn you money but that will enable you to make a difference to other human beings’ lives. You will enjoy your university years. So much freedom, so much to learn, so much fun stuff to do, so many mates! These will be the best years of your life. Enjoy them.
A year ago you chose to be confirmed as an Anglican. Good for you. Grow spiritually, in whatever direction you choose. Always remember that a church or a mosque, or a temple doesn’t make you a better person. It simply helps you along. It is not about mouthing it each day or proclaiming your religiousness on your face-book page. No. It is the love, care and compassion and respect for the rights of ALL your fellow human beings that matters. You can live your entire life without ever darkening a religious establishment’s door, but it is what you do, say and how you live your life with others that truly matters. Your faith is yours. Don’t foist it on anyone else. Respect others’ choices.
I am so proud of how you have matured in the last two years. You now watch and read current affairs. You have to know your Achebe from your Dangarembga. You care about South Sudan. You don’t know how proud I was of the week you spent during your last holidays building a school in Alexandra township. I have seen you indignant when you witness injustice and pain inflicted on others.
You have turned 18 in the year that your dear granny left us, three months ago. I don’t know what she would say to you if she was here. What I do know is that she will always love and protect you wherever she is. She will be happy if you continue to grow up as a gentle, caring, loving and GIVING man. Giving to others doesn’t mean you have excess, or you want it publicized through megaphones. Just love and give. That is the rent you pay for being on this beautiful planet.
I love you my youngest ‘baby’. You keep me sane each day.
